Becoming

A Reflection on My Mindset at This Point In Time

I am in a weird place.

Not sure how to fully explain it so here it goes.

It feels like I am tearing at the seams; not painfully, but more so energetically. A constant fugue state. Feeling tired. So tired.

Walking through this reality that I know exists to my physical senses, but the consciousness lies…somewhere else.

Kind of like those artistic images of an astronaut being pulled into a black hole we’ve all seen; spaghettification as he or she falls towards the event horizon.

If you are reading this, 'I’m sure this resonates. The whole “3D to 5D” timeline bifurcation thing is truly real even if the mechanics of it are up for debate. And I am stuck in a limbo of sorts; not quite “there” yet but stuck in between.

Waiting. (Over)Thinking. Writing. Holding on.

I’ve never been a planner (consciously) at least. As soon as I commit something to an idea that requires deliberate, prolonged action, it becomes a boring routine and I immediately move on to something else.

Fuck that shit. I like my life somewhat unpredictable, always trying new ways to make things better, new hobbies, etc…anything to shake off the boring-ness of routine.

The one thing that has remained constant over the past year is this Substack. A sort of journal, mind dump, network of others going thru the same things, and tracking what is going on in the greater collective of consciousness.

It is scary going thru my works from early spring last year until now just how accurate the progress of unravelling has been. We all articulate it in our own way: but the Pattern is truly a massive paradigm shift for Humanity that is well underway.

Not knowing what is in store for myself personally is kind of troublesome, but I have absolute faith in this process and whatever my path is meant to be will manifest itself.

I do believe that we are our somewhat “masters of our own fate” and through conscious manifestation, we can influence our lives to what we desire. But, there is one caveat, that desire must be coherent enough and serve the Source.

I am happy for so many of you who seem to be finding your way; we all are in our own ways and timeframes. I guess what I am trying to say, part of me feeling this way is disappointment that I have not yet “found” what I want to do for the rest of my time on this planet.

Its not quite a feeling of “stuck-ness” but more so just having to have patience (something I definitely struggle with 😂) to reach the point where it all ends up making sense.

Am I on the right path? Of course.

Maybe just being in a position where I can track this entire process at the macro level is a gift, and everything else is just timing.

I truly above anything else right now trust my gut instinct. And my gut all along this journey has told me “balance is the name of the game.”

So I will continue until no longer necessary to anchor this thing; this Awakening/Ascension/whatever you want to call it.

Because in the end, I truly believe that once our fellow brothers and sisters shake off the chains of fear and of the unknown, a new paradisical paradigm of abundance, love, and wonders we can scarcely imagine lie on the other side.

It is within reach for all, we just have to trust the process a bit longer.

And then the real work begins.

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